Thursday, 26 March 2015

Being Tall and Female Kind Of Sucks

"You're really tall, aren't you? I wish I had long legs like yours!"

Woah, woah, WOAH. Stop right there. No you don't and I'll tell you why:

  1. You get stupid remarks like this on a regular basis. It's hard not to reply with "omg really?! I never knew I was tall! Thanks for pointing it out! *sarcastic applause* (You should never tell a tall person that they are tall because they may not know this and go into extreme shock.)
  2. Clothes rarely fit right & if they do, you need to take out a loan to afford them. 
  3. Being tall usually means big feet - do you not realise how difficult it is to buy pretty shoes in a UK size 9? Thank the Shoe Lord for Vans, Converse, Toms and, in the summer, Havaianas.
  4. Men are intimidated by you. (to which I say "Man the eff up men!") I would LOVE to meet a guy who sees past my height and realises that I am a super nice and hilarious human bean. 
  5. Tall single men are a rare thing. Like unicorns. You know they exist but you never find one. 
  6. You get stared at like you are a freak of nature all the time. All. The. Time. 
Also, when did it become socially acceptable for strangers to point out how tall someone is? I had this lovely *coughs* encounter the other day:
Old Lady: "sorry to be personal, but how tall are you?"
Me: "6 foot."
Old Lady: "ooooh you look much taller than that!!"
THANKS ELDERLY MAD PERSON!! This is just as unacceptable as asking a woman her age or her weight. I am taller than most females you encounter so, FUDGING DEAL WITH IT!

....and now relaaaaaaaaaax. *breathes in* *breathes out*

I know I'm lucky that I am only 6ft as there are plenty of tall ladies out there who are MUCH taller than me, but you know, life is HARD sometimes. It's no surprise that I don't like leaving the house when the whole world is against you 24/7.

FACT: The 'world's tallest woman' is estimated to be 7ft 8in and 'Britain's tallest woman' is (as of 2011) 6ft 9in.

Thursday, 19 March 2015

I Take Things Too Personally

Today, my manager at work caused me to have a mini-meltdown because of something he said. Or actually, it was the way he said it. At the time, all I wanted to do burst into manic tears but of course I couldn't and there was a lot of lip-biting involved to stop myself. Yes, I know it's healthy to receive criticism every now and then (it stops you from getting a big-head for a start), but is it really that necessary to give it in a way that upsets people? 

There is a saying that I like and it's "It's nice to be important but it's more important to be nice." 

I'd like to think that I'm a nice person and this is most likely the reason why I feel things too deeply. If I see anything remotely sad on TV, I will be in tears and if you are my friend and I see you crying, I will cry with you, even if I don't even know what's upset you in the first place! The worst of it is, I will cry on the behalf of others. If I see anyone treated unfairly and I'm telling the story of what happened to someone else, you can 100% guarantee that I'll get upset. What is up with that?

The world would be a better place if more people were kind and considerate to others. Just because you think someone is strong enough not to take your mean words to heart, that may not be the case. How do you know that they are not fighting some internal battle and anything you say, even if you didn't mean it in a bad way, could make them feel rather rubbish with themselves.

So the moral of this story is:
  1. Be nice to your fellow humans. This is how you make friends and get respect from others.
  2. Don't stir up the hatred. There is no need for this and no-one likes someone who is always complaining. 
  3. Crying is not a sign of weakness, it just proves that you are not a soul-less automaton.

Tuesday, 17 March 2015

PRODUCT REVIEW: 'Jason And The Argan Oil' Solid Shampoo Bar - Lush

Been using this for a week now and I love it. Here is the official product description from Lush themselves:
"On a quest for stronger, shinier, softer hair? Try this argan oil-packed, Rose Jam-scented bar. Argan oil is combined with glycerine to give your hair touchable softness and lustrous shine. From this solid foundation restorative rose absolute and oil balances the scalp making this bar particularly perfect for setting fair hair ablaze with brightness and strength."
Yup! Totally agree with all of this! 

I have a confession. I suffer from hair vanity. Walk out the house minus make-up (except for concealer. I always need that.)? No problemo! Go about my day looking like I've been dragged through a hedge backwards then dipped head first into a bucket full of oil? NOPE NOPE NOPEITTY NOPE!! 

I have to be careful about what I use to tame my mane. Any product that weighs it down is an absolute nightmare, which is why I swear by argan oil products. It manages frizz without making my hair look and feel disgusting! YAY! 

'Jason and the Argan Oil' will never replace my absolute favourite Lush shampoo, which is 'I Love Juicy' (I may review this too one day), but because they have different benefits, I will use them both. 

I'm not going to lie to you, no matter how hard I try, I will always have messy hair, 'embrace messy hair' is my mantra, but thanks to Lush, it will be grease and frizz free. 

Saturday, 14 March 2015

Why I'm Quitting Facebook

Dear Facebook,
We need to break-up. I'm sorry but I've had enough of seeing people who have seemingly have their shit together whilst I'm in a loving relationship with my laptop and pizza. I'm not deleting you from my life entirely but from now on you'll be like a crazy relative who I rarely see and when I do, it's excruciatingly awkward. (Excellent metaphor there Clarey.)

Reasons why I need to leave the Book of Face before I go completely mental: 
Drama Llamas: There are two types of these. Those who create drama but don't elaborate on it when asked and those who just won't shut up about it.
Over-sharers: I do not give a flying monkey about what you just ate for breakfast or what you're doing every single minute of every single day.
The Selfie Fiend: ♫'re so vain, you probably think this song is about you...♫

So...yeah. That's it. I wonder how long it will take for people to realise that I'm not on there much anymore?

Thursday, 12 March 2015


On Tuesday, I returned to work after 9 glorious days of doing nothing but internet and procrastinating. I think I only ventured outside maybe 4 times, one of those was to help on a water station at the Bath Half Marathon (according to the rather pink t-shirt that I got given, I was a "racemaker". Yup. Go me.) and another was going to Oxford to see Collabro live in concert. They were frickin' AMAZING!! YAY for musical theatre songs!

Where was I? Oh yes. 9 days off, blahblahblah. Within 6 hours (I shit you not) of being back at work, I had already sliced open my finger with cardboard, and the pizza baguette that I was eating for lunch almost slid off my plate and onto the floor whilst I was cutting it. 


I know that my clumsiness is generally due to me being tall and awkward. I have no balance what so ever. I've even been known to trip over thin air. *facepalms* I would love to last a whole week without getting damaged in some way. For example, I'm finishing this post on Thursday and I somehow cut another finger today. HOW DID I DO THIS??? *cries*

The worst part is that I have the type of skin that doesn't heal well. I think I've got at least 10 scars on my body from various incidents. Let me show you some evidence:

Let's call this one the 'Baking Tray Accident'. I burnt my arm above (yes, above) the elbow bend with a pre-heated baking tray. Only I would hold a hot object too close to my body instead of at arms length. I really do fail at life.

Do not, I beg of you, sit down to eat a plate of spag bol when you are wearing shorts because the boiling pasta may slide off your plate and onto your leg. Yes, this really did happen. 

Just look at how messed up my left knee is! Can you see the red mark? Below it is what happens when you are running in the playground, stop suddenly because the bell has rung for the end of break-time....and you skid. 
What is the long scar from I hear you ask? WELL. When I was a teenager, my knee used to dislocate at least twice a year. This epic scar happened when I was 16 and I fell awkwardly during a PE lesson at school. The knee popped out and when I got it X-Rayed at A&E, the doctors discovered that I had managed to chip a bit of bone off my kneecap. WHAAATTTT??? HOWWWW??? Again, I'm such a fail. After an op to screw the bone back on (yay! metal in my leg!), I spent weeks on crutches and I couldn't bend my leg properly for months. 

I love my scars though. They prove that I even though I am a clumsy oaf who sometimes forgets how stairs work or tests gravity to make sure it's still working or has an unique ability to walk into sharp objects, I can survive anything. Although, if I make it to old age, it will be a miracle. 

Monday, 9 March 2015

When Life Gives You Lemons...

....make Lemon Drizzle Cake!


For the cake
175g/6 oz butter, softened
175g/6oz caster sugar
2 large eggs
175g/6oz self-raising flour
Grated rind of 2 lemons
4 tablespoons of milk
1 tablespoon of lemon juice

For the glaze
Juice of 2 lemons
2-3 tablespoons of icing sugar, sifted

1.  Preheat oven to 160°C/GM 3.
2.  Grease a 1kg/2lb loaf tin with butter. Line base with greaseproof paper. Or use a loaf-tin liner.
3.  Put the butter and the sugar into a large bowl. Use a wooden spoon (gives your arm a good workout) and beat until creamy, pale, and soft.
4.  Beat the eggs lightly. Slowly add them to the mix and keep beating. If the mixture starts to curdle, beat in a bit of flour and keep going.
5.  Sift in the flour and add the lemon rind. Fold this into the mix with a metal spoon.
6.  Gently mix in the milk and lemon juice.
7.  Spoon the mix into your tin and bake for 55-60 minutes – do not open the door!
8.  When the time is up, stick a skewer into the cake. If it’s cooked, the skewer will come out clean.
9.  Prick the cake all over.
10. Make the glaze by mixing the lemon juice into the icing sugar.
11. Pour over the hot cake in the tin.
12.  Remove after 15 minutes. Cool on rack.

Thursday, 5 March 2015

February Favourites

How is it already March??? I swear it was New Years Eve only yesterday. Before we know it, it will be December again and the year will be almost over... *cries*

ANYWAYZ, here are the things that I loved last month.

Percy Pigs
I have eaten about a zillion of these recently. If you don't live in the UK or maybe you live in a cave, these are quite possibly the 2nd best sweets in existence (Haribo are the best). They are full of sugary goodness and I think they got me through writing my 'Losing Faith In Humanity' rant.

FUN FACT: M&S also do a 'Fizzy Pig Tails' version of them and one time at work, those of us working late ate a few too many of them and we got a bit giggly and just generally hyper because they are totally covered in sugar. (Keelin, I know you read my blog, do you remember that night? Fun-times.)

Cath Kidston bag

I love this bag so much. I'm very fussy about the size of my handbags. My previous one to this was really nice and vintagey, but it wasn't very spacious, and space it what I need because I never throw anything away and I need to be prepared for every eventuality, e.g. umbrella, ibuprofen, plasters, a wooly hat. The only issue that I have with it is the length of the strap, which even pulled right out still wasn't long enough for my giraffe like body, but luckily Michelle came to the rescue with an old bag strap of hers so the two joined together is perfect.

Pink and White Wafers
Another food item. Supposedly low in calories but I don't believe it. Sorry.

Less than 2% fat?? Yeah right. The wafers on their own maybe as they taste like cardboard but I can't accept it about the marshmellowy goodness in the middle. All things considered, they are still highly addictive.

The 6 Nations
Do I really need to explain why I'm enjoying a rugby tournament so much? Yes, England are doing not so good, but hey, RUGBY PLAYERS. Hnng.

The Sims 4
When this was first released to the world last year, I was in two minds about getting this as I love Sims 3 and without the various expansion packs, I was like "what is the actual point?". Then I started to watch some gaming videos about it on Youtube and I realised how much more content it had and the graphics are just WOW. Thank the Lord (or EA..) for confirming the dates for expansion packs! 

Dan and Phil (aka LIFE RUINERS)
How do I explain how much I love these two dorks without sounding like I'm a massive fangirl. I don't know if it's possible but I will try. Dan and Phil are two Youtubers (clicky-click on their names for their channels) who duel-handedly got me through what was quite possibly the most crappiest mood ever. Let me explain. At the end of January, I was in a really shit mood. I don't know if was the January blues or just general melancholia but one day I decided to watch one of their videos and 15 hours later, I felt a whole lot better. They just make me so happy because they are as dorky and awkward as me. YAY! 
So, if for some reason that they ever read this (help me), I thank them so much for being in my internet life.

Coming soon to this blog: CAKE. I think I will post this....Sunday? I'm off to Oxford tomorrow until Saturday to see Collabro in concert, so there may also be photos of Oxford shenanigans. 

Toodles xx