If you're tired and you know it clap your hands!!

*CLAPCLAP*

11.06pm - Tuesday Night: *writing in a notebook because I can't sleep* 

I need to be up at 4.10am and I can't effing sleep! When I started this blog (a.k.a. the place where I can talk to myself), I was in the middle of a holiday from work so I got into a really good habit of blogging regularly, but, alas! That has gone out the window of late. *shakes fist at work* I sincerely apologise for this. (who am I apologising to? myself?? good grief.)

So, what have I been up to recently? 

• I started to watch 'American Horror Story' on le Netflix. I'm trying not to watch ALL the episodes at once because I know season 5 doesn't start until October. 
• I got rewarded for being an 'outstanding human being' (not really, but we all know that I am) at work and one of the prizes to choose from was 2 cinema tickets, so YAY to cinema trip for me and friend. Oh, and on the award thing I got, it said that I was "always smiling", which is pretty darn amazing seeing as I am dead inside.

4.35am - Wednesday Morning: Time for another exciting episode of 'How To Survive Work After 4 Hours Sleep'!! *repeatedly bangs head against wall*

6.07am: When did this turn into a Day in the Life of Me? Heigh-ho. Anyways, I'm dressed, I no longer look like a zombie and I'm semi-functioning. What more do you want from me?!

6.18am: You know in Tom & Jerry when Tom is so very tired that he props his eyes open with toothpicks? 

Yeah, that's what I feel doing right now. 2.30pm can't come soon enough IMO.

11.07am: My only break of the day. I guess I can call it brunch but I don't really count a ham & cheese toasty as brunch type food. I need a bacon sarnie or a cooked breakfast. Anyhow, it doesn't matter what it's called because as Winnie the Pooh once said, "it's the tasteful thing to do, be it ten or twelve or two, cos anytime is food time, when you set your clock on Pooh time!" I think my clock is permanently set on Pooh time.

3.15pm: Finally home! It's time for coffee, cake, and Netflix before I even think bloggy thoughts.

5.44pm: I've officially reached the grumpy level of tiredness. Let me get on my high horse for a moment. I have a female acquaintance who is always complaining about being single and that she never meets any nice guys. Well, last weekend she Instagrammed a weekend away with one particular boy and I was like, "Oh how nice. She's finally met someone." (even if the kissing selfie did make me retch.) Now today, she posted something about being single and a friend of hers commented saying "but what about *******" and she replied with "oh, I'm not ready for a relationship." EXCUUUUUSSSSSEEEE MEEEEEEE????!!! What is up with her? Why go away with him on a mini holiday if you were going to decide this less than a week later??

 She needs to understand that she is fudging lucky that a) a guy likes her and b) is willing to ask her out because some of us (like me for example), aren't that lucky. I suffer from chronic singleness and a fear that I am going to die alone, so hearing something like this really upsets me. *sighs* *gets off high horse* 

6.06pm: To "get on one's high horse" is such a weird idiom.

6.32pm: Note To Self - Never again try to blog when you are extremely tired because you will waffle on and make people think you've gone doo-lally.