Sunday, 15 February 2015

The Things My Brain Thinks When I'm On My Own At Work

AKA 'It's No Wonder That I'm Slightly Odd'

Firstly did all my fellow singletons survive yesterday ok? Luckily, I had work to distract me so I wasn't at home under a duvet wallowing in my self pity about why I'll be a forever alone crazy cat lady.....YUP. Then I saw something that made it oh so clear to me.


Right, so. On with the actual post. This weekend I've been on my own at work. Yes, there were people to talk to, but they weren't on my section so I couldn't exactly be with them all the time. The problem is that when I'm left to my own devices, I end up, well, talking to myself. In my head. So I thought I'd share with you some of the highlights:

  • "WHY CAN'T PEOPLE TIDY UP AFTER THEMSELVES???!!! What do they think this is? A shop??" 
  • "Who did put the 'bop' in the 'bop shoo bop shoo bop'...?"
  • "I wonder what it would be like to not be so clumsy all the time. How do people not manage to walk into furniture or trip over absolutely bloody nothing or drop things a million times a day?"
  • "Imagine if I was irresistible to men." (Surprisingly, I'm not.) 
  • "I wonder if I should use my powers of invisibility for good or for evil?"
  • "I wish I could be less awkward then I am. Sometimes I wonder how I function in society. It's really no wonder that I'm single."
Brian needs to shut the heck up.....and the final reason why I am 'slightly odd', is that I named my brain. 

Good night. xx

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