Wednesday, 24 February 2016

9 Things All Clumsy People Know To Be True

How-do Chums?

I am sat writing this to you the day after I fell over in the most spectacular fashion on my way into town. It has left me with swollen knees and a bruised ego. I'm still not sure what I tripped up on or how it happened, all I know is that I was walking along at my usual super fast, long-legged speed and the next thing, I found myself hurtling towards the ground and going down with a wallop - there is a lot of me to fall! At least I can be grateful that 
  a) it wasn't piddling down with rain at the time. I was sat on the ground for at least five minutes, not crying because i'm a big girl, gathering strength to walk (or more accurately, limp) on to my hair appointment, and
  b) no bones were broken or knees dislocated - yay!

I suppose I shouldn't be surprised this has happened to me though. I am one of life's uncoordinated people. We are the type that clumsiness is second nature to us.

Here are some things that all clumsy people know to be true:

1. A week doesn't go by without at least one bruise or cut on your body. 
2. You carry around a variety of painkillers and band-aids for this reason.
3. Never give a clumsy person something fragile to carry because you can guarantee they will drop it. Personally, I am always in awe of waiters in restaurants when they carry six plates full of food on their arms. hOW DO THEY NOT DROP THE LOT??
4. We just have to walk past a glass/mug sat on a table and it will knock over.
5. Where can I learn the life-hack for walking on ice?? I need to know! I love snow but I do not love the ice that comes with it.
6. Ditto rain. Bath is terrible with slippery pavements. 
7. I've lost count of how many times that I've almost forgotten how stairs work.
8. You can count the scars on your body and you have a story to go along with each of them.
9. If you are taller than average height, low ceilings and doorways are not your friends. Coordinated people must magically know when to duck.

Stay safe everyone!

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