Saturday, 28 February 2015

Why I'm Losing Faith In Humanity

There are morons everywhere.


Patience my children (...?), I am in a ragey mood and I need to let it out. Below are a list of reasons why I need to live on a far away planet, where there are no idiots to be found.

Road Safety (or the lack of it)

  • People who cross before the little green man appears. Do you actually have a death wish?? What's worse is if they happen to be doing this with children in tow. Why yes, let's raise a generation of people who think it's "a laugh" to dice with death.
  • People who cross the road literally 2 metres before the designated and very safe pelican crossing. AKA, dicing with death because you are far too lazy to walk the extra distance.
  • People who don't look both ways before crossing a street. *sigh* Take a note from me. I look both ways when crossing a one-way street.
I have come to the conclusion that either people haven't seen or maybe they chose to ignore the classic 'Superted' Road Safety advert. 

Actually terrifying

Shopping Behaviour (shopping misbehaviour more like)

  • Parents who are teaching their children that it's okay to run riot in a shop. Of course your little darlings can run/scooter up and down the ramp. If they get to the bottom and don't stop, please don't expect any sympathy from me when you complain that they have a metal arm impaled in their eye.
  • Parents who let their children leave behind a mountain of shoes/clothes that have been tried on. Your children are going to grow up with little respect for shop workers. 
  • Adults who behave like children when they don't get what they want or their own way. Grow the FUDGE up you losers. There are people a hell of a lot worse off than you in the world, and you are standing here screaming because of such-and-such complaint. 
  • Have people forgotten the phrase "excuse me please"? The following are 3 new ways of asking for help. Apparently. I must have missed the memo.
1. "CO-EEEEE!" (I think I chose to ignore this one.)
2. "ARE YOU FREE???" (Yo lady. Calm your shizz. There is no need to shout. I'm not that tall.)
3. Just standing there by your side and not saying a word until you look at them and ask if they need help. (Why yes, I am psychic. How did you know?) 

Miscellaneous Morons (because they don't fit into any other category)

  • Slow walkers. Especially frustrating when you live in a tourist city. Do they not realise that the people who live here have places to be and at certain times?? The worse time of year for me is definitely Nov/Dec during the annual Christmas market. Everyone is crammed into a small space and dawdling. Oh, it's called "shopping" is it? PFFFT. Don't even get me started on the added woes of being long-legged and getting stuck behind a tourist.
  • People who stand stock still in the middle of the pavement. NOPE. If you feel that you must check your phone/look at a map/chat to your equally slow companion, please considerately stand to the side so I can go on my merry way.
  • People who wait ages for a bus, only to pay their fare and then get off 2 stops later. I'm not talking about the elderly or the disabled here, but those who are just generally lazy. They just spent over £2 on a ticket for a distance that they could have walked quicker! 


No comments:

Post a Comment